Aside from my general lack of desire to be around children that I haven't made, the primary reason I dislike children is a direct result of craptacular parenting. Specifically lazy, indulgent, non-parenting. We all know a parent or ten like this and I'm willing to wager that you have a specific family in mind right now.
My personal favorites come in two varieties: lazy and crunchy. The lazy ones often allow their children to do, say, act and behave in any which way with no consequence, no conscience, nor any guidance towards socially acceptable behavior. The sort of parent who says, often and with entitled dismissal, "It's not worth arguing with her, so I just let her do whatever she wants." Well now, that's exciting, isn't it? I look forward to hearing all about how that's working out for you when she hits puberty. Actually, nevermind, I don't want to hear anything about it - besides, I wouldn't be able to stop myself from offering lots of judgey-preachy-passive-aggressive comments about what a horseshit parent you were when she was three.
While this lazy parent is bad, equally awful is the crunchy parent who believes that he/she is offering his/her offspring the very finest upbringing by not tainting the child's experiences with rules or boundaries of any kind. Resultant behavior: kids who come barreling into your home with muddy shoes and immediately begin jumping on the couch. Yes, this actually happened to a close friend of mine. The mother of said offenders never made any motion to correct her children, nor to inquire about the rules of the home in which they were guests.
Crunchy parents can often be heard lamenting the state of education and processed foods while their children are peeing on your new shrubs and making a mural in your newly painted master bathroom with every lipstick you own. And be prepared for the lecture and shaming you'll get when their parents find out they've been handling toxic, chemical-ridden cosmetics - "I mean really, do you even care about your children?!"
Never have I ever uttered anything along the lines of "He's just expressing himself; I don't like to stifle any of his creativity." while my son colors your brand new siding with rocks. Nor will I excuse my daughter's violence towards your cat by explaining that "She's just not familiar with small pets and her aggression is a natural reaction to your cats' encroachment on her personal space." Again, actual scenarios from friends...
I'm often overwhelmed as a single parent to three children - ages 2, 3, and 4 - and while it may seem like an appealing idea to throw in the towel, take a nap and let the wee ones roam free and do as they please, the fantasy is much more rose-colored than the reality. Reality being that your free-range kids act like jackwagons and are the reason you and I can't be friends.
I'll be back to comment more next week (Internet in Turkey providing...), but I had to take a sec to type this: I JUST LOVE YOU. (Are teachers supposed to type that to students? Am I maybe giving you grounds for a lawsuit here? Uh-oh.)
ReplyDeleteYour a great writer. You express yourself well. Ugh..the other parents...yikes, their kids, on the tables, under the tables, eating olives for breakfast, and then wondering why they are moody. I am not sure how all this came about. I know they have been out there since the beginning of time but it seems to be either more prevalent or more obvious now a days. It took me time to realize I could ask other parents to have their children respect my home. It takes courage and I have to respect you for that. Good writing as always. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThis post made me laugh. I was happy to be able to do so while reading a ‘complaint’ post. Usually when reading someone else’s gripes I simply want to shake my head and scroll on. Your complaints were fun to listen to. This is because you used entertaining and creative adjectives and humorous stories. The situations you explained were easy to identify with.
ReplyDeleteI would have like to hear more about these ‘crunchy’ parents, as I felt that your focus was mainly on the ‘lazy’ sort. It was almost as if the effectiveness and value of your style overwhelmed the organization of the piece. After reading this post I wondered if there were some more valuable paragraphs or sentences shivering outside in the cold.
Great job.
Ouch, muddy boots. That's harsh. These lazy sort of parents are the same ones I see cursing at their child in public. I can only imagine what these parents do when their at home. The time and attention it takes to be a parent is very substancial and I thoroughly agree with you about these lazy parents. Another thing the lazy parent does use T.V to entertain their child. Wheres the pride?
ReplyDeleteThe only thing that I hate worse than harsh parenting is the lack of any parenting at all. Excellent post, Leah! You are, perhaps, on of the best blog writers I have seen and it is always a joy to read your humorous accounts of life. The fact that you are able to write a "complaint blog" post while maintaining a strong comedic presence is a notable accomplishment (and one that I wish more would learn). I was able to easily connect with your topic and laughed out loud on more than one occasion. I thought that your note about being a single parent with children who are still well-mannered helped add credibility to your writing.
ReplyDeletePlus, anyone who refers to misbehaving children as "jackwagons" while keeping the blame where it rightfully belongs (directed at the parents) is all right in my book.
Thank you for the pleasurable reading.
With me still being a "kid" myself(only two more weeks until I'm a legal adult, woohoo!)I still find that I can agree with everything that you say. I have a lot of friends that are on a loose leash when it comes to what they can say and do around their parents and I wouldn't be caught dead trying to do some of the things around my own parents! I also see the same kind of parenting you described above within my extended family so I definitely understand where you are coming from when writing this post. I love how you brought humor into it so it wasn't so serious, humor will catch my eye in any situation! The way you described lazy parents was perfect and overall this post was fantastic! Nice work
ReplyDeleteI agree that you're talented and sharp. I also agree with Seth that this feels nicely free-flowing but could pack even more of a wallop with more organization and attention to the "crunchy" parents. Beyond the lazy and the crunchy, there are even more categories of poor parents--such as the "Children Raise the Parents" parents--that you could bring in, too, to give more dimension to your complaint.
ReplyDeleteAll of that noted, it's still a great post.